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walleyeThis is the first of my posts centered around the Month's Memorable Moments. I hope it is fun for u all! I’m commiting to this for all of 2022.
january, january, january. The most vile of months in my opinion. Lots of various personal stresses going on um but im sure ill be fine (read; is struggling) anyways. I think i am growing more resilient and more accurate at gauging my own capabilities, so there is that. I’m not sure why but something bad inevitably happens to me every january (and i wouldn't say it's a self fulfilling prophecy, as most of these things are out of my control), and it’s exhausting to come back to the real world after december’s frolicking and festivities, but it makes me feel better to remember that the days are getting longer and spring is soon approaching <3
music
as was the case for many of us, mitski has been on my mind this month <3 Love Me More has to be my top song for january! Mitski has been putting out hit after hit and i am extremely excited for laurel hell. it is coming out so soon who else is excited! I think this album so far has spoken to me in ways that her other music has not as much. i have always enjoyed mitski but I relate less to her themes about loneliness and more so to her themes of feeling powerless and exploited, though maybe loneliness is a type of powerlessness, and i just need to think on it more. Working for the Knife has hit a particularly sweet spot as i feel general doom regarding my future and my place in society and my notions of what a career should be vs the conceptions of those around me.
But, i was surprised when i heard lmm and felt that it hit a lot harder in a different way, one that i hadn’t considered as much. The ending where she repeats “clean me out clean me out clean me...” left me feeling dizzy and insane! its so desperate and wanting like the duality of 1.) clean me out as a “please fix me and make me better” 2.) clean me out as in “take all my money/use me/show me i have worth/any attention is better than none”. i dont know if im reading into it correctly but i enjoy it so much! she is so good at speaking simply but knowing precisely what must be said. Anyways. Thanks mitski! So excited to see her funky dancing in march I HOPE IF ALL GOES TO PLAN!
Marge Simpson, Cupcakke
um i love cupcakke so much lool her lyrics are always so fun to bear witness to. i am glad to live in the same era as a legend
Debt Collector, Mothé
this is ur pretty basically structured indie rock pop song (like it rly could be. any and all of those genres) with drums and instruments etc but that formula hits right ever time i cannot deny.
PRETTY BOYS, YENA
okay listened to the side tracks on this album after i saw risa talk about it qnd this song is good...it is kinda giving me mago era gfriend vibes in a sense, not sure why, but the DA DA DEE DEE DA DEE DA is addictive like theres no need to make music complex sometimes u just need a lil sound a lil groove and yena knows this.
Polly, Dora Jar
this is quite a funky beat, it reminds me of something that i cannot quite place but yeah. good....i like the use of repetition in some parts "I hit the ground ground" that adds kind of an auditory "double take" of sorts i think its cool. very rhythmic and fun! sorry i literally cannot discuss music for shit LOL me failing the pitchfork auditions thru this post.
Don't Be So Hard on Your Own Beauty, yeule
this song feels like a conversation, its melodic and repetitive in a way that draws you in and makes u wanna stay for a while. i like how it keeps going and going and i hang onto every word.
Tango, Rodrigo Amarante
fuck yeah the anthropologie music HITS right. this makes me feel relaxed and happy and i want to buy a vase to put some fresh flowers in <3.
Albumwise I have been enjoying Indigo de Souza's Any Shape You Take i think she is indie genius. my favs: Real Pain (the screaming sounds in the middle are harrowing to me because i am just kind of sensitive to sounds like that but i still enjoyed it) (SORRY THE SAMPLE IS LITERALLY THE SCREAMING PART LOL why cant u change the timestamps of an embed...)and Late Night Crawler. FKA twigs CAPRISONGS has also been of interest and i am loving thank you song because i am big crybaby.
I’ve also started listening to vocaloid again (it was about time for a renaissance of SOMETHING) and project sekai recs from siyao n julia have truly helped sustain it!! I don’t think i’d ever play the game...maybe i’d get into the chars (they are all very cute) but I like these songs so far:
movies/visual medias i guess
me and neeta watched The Power of the Dog (2021) which is something ive been meaning to watch since kaia recommended it to me! overall i really enjoyed it, though 2 hours does tend to be on the long side of things for me, i think the soundtrack was excellent and peter...the levels to peter...i love it. it was a bit of a ??? moment to see kirsten dunst and benedict cumberbatch in this tho jdjfjf this is why ppl should only act in one movie ever otherwise the associations with other movies gets too strong for me except jack black he can do whatever the fuck he wants. sorry im thinking about how neeta told me chris pratt won't be doing an italian accent as mario in the mario movie which is literally an italian movie for italians WHAT THE FUCK.
Watched The House (2022) with bimbos and man, i always forget to keep an eye out for the stop-motion industry but when dip my toes in i am always pleasantly surprised! I loved the theme of exploring a house over time. The last story was definitely the easiest to understand (letting go of the things u once saw as constants in ur life is a difficult necessity in times of change. But i also feel like the character in that didn’t really have to sacrifice anything herself. She still got her house in the end! But maybe that’s the overarching theme of the movie...the House Always Stays.). The first one was my favorite though it was certainly the most ??? (maybe its a lesson to be on the lookout for scammers). I love stop motion! when i see people create little tiny things i am happy.
i have been watching the latest dimension20 season with kevin whilst we zone out and do other things!! i do like it quite a bit so far, i find it amusing. as always i am loving zac and lous and murphs characters jdjdjd Bad Boys. i worry that emilys is just like...sophie bikes but more one dimensional and less amusing. i think siobhans character is ok but tbh nothing will really ever top adaine for me...though riva is def a lot better than usc misty LOL. im still tryna figure out margaret but i think she could be fun and allys presence is just a delight anyways and i trust Them (ok kind of lies bc i thought pete was really annoying s1 usc but it worked out). basically my ranking is as follows:
- barry (murph)
- norman (zac)
- gunnie (lou)
- margaret (ally)
- riva (siobhan)
- sydney (emily)
but ofc ofc subject to change. i remember kevin telling me he might plan a scifi one shot for us i hope he is taking notes :9 this reminds me i need to make dim20 post at some point for literally just neeta and jess LOL...
books
surprise i didnt really read any books either this month besides this one murder mystery puzzle book, which was not...good (Murder Most Puzzling by Stephanie von Reiswitz). the artwork was nice but ebook was certainly not the medium it was meant to be consumed in and some of the puzzles were either badly written or factually incorrect.
Badly written: There was a puzzle where someone has been poisoned and you had to figure out who out of 5 people did it, and how. The clues presented were the 5 character bios and this painted illustration of the kitchen where the poison would have been created. The answer was..The explorer guy did it because he probably brought back a spoon made from Ouabain/the poison arrow tree, and you can see the spoon in use in the kitchen. Like literally the bio was "this guy likes to explore" and u were just supposed to notice an intricate spoon in the jar of tumeric jelly or whatever. WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW--. I did learn something new so there’s that.
Incorrect: There was some number sequence puzzle where u had to guess what the next number was. So the sequence was 2, 4, 7, 14, 23. And then you realize...oh, it’s going up by the next successive prime number (+2...+3...+7...+9, etc). However...you then realize...there’s no +5!! Even though 5 is a prime number!! And the answer key said it was a sequence of increasing by successive prime numbers so i guess they just forgot that 5 is prime? how bothersome!!
Anyways I had to give such an in depth review because this was the only book I read in January.
i did read some poems though! favs:
Short and sweet, a good reminder for me in these trying times as i feel like things are not in my control adfasdfasf. But I have to bring them into my control, that is my power! (thinking about quasi religious upbringings) okay anyways.
I like this one because it feels like growing up in the sense that you set so many expectations/guidelines for yourself, because you think that's what you're supposed to do, but then the moments that these lapse are some of the best of them all.
Just another hopeful poem about transformation...i can feel my new bones coming in...
Just a nice lil new year poem...
Jessica sent me this one <3 going back to my baba yaga roots here. i think baba yaga is very cool and crafty.
games
yeah i really have been too busy to do much of anything this month :( me and kevin have stopped playing ffxiv basically because there’s too many fucking cutscenes! I need to know what writers thought this was a good idea! I spend more time in cutscenes in that game than i do in actual combat. At the end of a realm reborn there was legit a 1 hour cutscene and even though that one was fairly interesting compared to most of the inane stuff u have to watch...THERE’S OTHER WAYS TO TELL A STORY. I checked reddit threads and people who complain about cutscenes get downvoted to hell because they’re not appreciating the “lore”. There are phone games that have as complex storylines as ffxiv without millions of hours of cutscenes! It’s sad because i do enjoy the actual gameplay aspects of the game but. Hm. maybe ill just skip all the cutscenes and just read a wiki (said knowing i’ll never do this). i do miss beetle and ocimaes adventures together tho.
I did start playing phasmophobia with some bimbos and like. Ajkdlfkajd idk why im so scared even though i literally consume so much horror content and am generally unaffected watching other ppl play and the game graphics are really not that realistic! Going to practice bravery. It is much more fun to play though, i thought it wuld be boring cuz i hate watching phasmo streams but turns out some things are just better done ourselves. Highlight: putting the dots projector thing on the ground and moving our mice wildly while chanting “JAMES THOMAS DISCO PARTY JAMES THOMAS GET YOUR ASS IN HERE” u can really shake ur ass at angles in this game i can see why james thomas would want to merc me
Oh and we’re also going back to back4blood and it turns out that game is more fun when u can progress adsfasdf we still die ofc but we’re actually making it further than we ever have before. She will NEVER be left4dead but we take what we can get. i do find the card/deck building aspect to be interesting i just wish the characters were better and that there were a greater variety of maps.
also ofc i played fe3h but u saw the post for that already <3
other
lots of personal shit going on wish me luck but here are some other things that have brought me joy.
My parents got this boba milk tea mochi from costco and its so good like it is really hard carrying me!! its def on the sweeter side but it has a nice chewy texture and the flavor is actually quite nuanced.
kevin’s birthday was this month. happy birthday to him!!!
I ordered bernadetta and dimitri from here so i am excited for that to arrive even if it takes a month. It was really hard for me to pick which second one to get because ferdinand also looked so cute to me and so did linhardt but bernadetta is my baby!
Conclusion
if you’ve made it this far...well first of all...thank you and good job. I hope next month gets better for me in terms of availability/reduction of stress. There are many things i would like to do:
- Read books. I’m thinking of rereading six of crows/crooked kingdom after watching shadow and bone in december, which i found to be entertaining but also a bit. Hm. at times. (WHY DID THEY MAKE ZOYA RACIST? ASKLDSAD). But I also need to get through a bunch of other stuff i said i wanted to read so we will see! I want to read more urban planning books/books about logistics etc (read: guy having a crisis while doing interviews and wishing they were an urban planner or smth instead of [redacted]).
- Draw! I miss drawing so much i swear i’m gonna draw a lot. I want to draw a bunch of fe3h fanart and also maybe start doing studies, i want to get better at backgrounds and drawing in interesting perspectives and lighting!
- should i start writing fic again. nsjssj i still need to finish 2yoo baba yaga UGH but then i was also like. okay but like what if i wrote fe3h fic what if i wrote de fic what if. i wanna come up with a pseud for my gaming fics tho what looks good with crispytoasty...
- finish aa trilogy and tgaac...i so slow i promise ill get to kazuma soon! ok theres just a lot of games in general i want to play like the artful escape...and...uh...whatever else may be on xbox game pass.
Hope all of you are having a good january u deserve it. (bear holding teddy bear in its mouth) See u next month!
